Stop talking to me like I am a dog. You are my headache.

Talk to me like you talk to the dog, I have a headache...

While trying to figure out why seemingly the comparable incompetence of every cab driver I have ever had seems to directly correlate to how drunk I am. I decided to do some mathematical exploration to see if perhaps there was an unknown equation, one I was not familiar with, an algorithim that held the explanation. Or even better an unfinished one which I could solve earning my place in the scientific hierarchy ( or at least bestowing on me the wisdom to choose a cab that could circumnavigate the five Boro's, with a map and specific turn by turn directions).

Never being particularly mathematically minded in the past I realized that I saw potential life changing equations all around me in my life that just needed to be explored. My life whisked into an egghead omelette could solve the world's (or at very least some of my own problems).

If you use more than one variable, go back and substitute known relationships for the additional variables. When it comes to solving the equation, you want to solve for just one variable. You can often rewrite all the variables in terms of just one. For example, if you let (A) represent the number of Sarah’s whiskeys and (B) represent a given cabby’s brains cells, but you know that Sarah has had four more whiskeys than cabbie has brain cells, then (A) can be replaced with (B)+4.

In conclusion no matter how deep into the Jameson I am, my cab driver is a douche bag and I am a fucking genius! Apparently for being able to read signs. like 44 Astoria blvd west looks very different than 41 GCP east and is also the difference between 15$ and 28$.

Obviously I shouldn't have to pay for his gross algebraic negligence. Unfortunately Achmed doesn't quite see this and I (A)+high heels= slip and fall squared.
After being called, what sounds something like a humpless camel (please Achmed it's a push up lets not exaggerate)? Tip is refused (B+4) >B=B-T.

All in all we have learned that
(a+w)<(s-$)= FUCK I was never any good at math